A group of children. A load of office jargon. There was only going to be one winner.
Have you ever found yourself nodding at someone in a work meeting, but thinking “I have no idea what you’re talking about?" You’re not the only one. No office is safe from the menace of management speak – even here at Teach First we’ve been known to “touch base offline to discuss key deliverables”.
Luckily we’ve gathered a sharp squad of school children to cut through the gobbledygook and help explain what a few of these phrases might mean. If they brighten up your day, perhaps it’s time to think about getting back in the classroom…
1. Square the circle
It’s a bit complicated… A heptagon with a triangle inside it
Management speak meaning: "Just make it happen. Reality was made to be broken."
What kind of person would deliver a bull?
Management speak meaning: "I have some work for you to do. Due yesterday."
3. Blue sky thinking
I might feel really happy, and the sky might feel really happy
Management speak meaning: "Go in a windowless room and don’t come out until you’ve had an idea."
4. Idea shower
When your brain pops because it has so many ideas
Management speak meaning: "Come up with lots of new ideas. Most of which we'll funnel straight down the drain."
5. Peel back the onion
It’s a shorter way to say ‘cut the onion for the pizza’
Management speak meaning: "Sit and think about this while I go and get lunch. For some reason I have a serious pizza craving."