Pupils in Teach First partner school

Schoolkids vs management speak

There really is no contest.

Schoolkids vs management speak

A group of children. A load of office jargon. There was only going to be one winner.

Have you ever found yourself nodding at someone in a work meeting, but thinking “I have no idea what you’re talking about?" You’re not the only one. No office is safe from the menace of management speak – even here at Teach First we’ve been known to “touch base offline to discuss key deliverables”.

Luckily we’ve gathered a sharp squad of school children to cut through the gobbledygook and help explain what a few of these phrases might mean. If they brighten up your day, perhaps it’s time to think about getting back in the classroom…

1. Square the circle

It’s a bit complicated… A heptagon with a triangle inside it

Management speak meaning: "Just make it happen. Reality was made to be broken."

2. Deliverable

What kind of person would deliver a bull?

Management speak meaning: "I have some work for you to do. Due yesterday."

3. Blue sky thinking

I might feel really happy, and the sky might feel really happy

Management speak meaning: "Go in a windowless room and don’t come out until you’ve had an idea."

4. Idea shower

When your brain pops because it has so many ideas

Management speak meaning: "Come up with lots of new ideas. Most of which we'll funnel straight down the drain."

5. Peel back the onion

It’s a shorter way to say ‘cut the onion for the pizza’

Management speak meaning: "Sit and think about this while I go and get lunch. For some reason I have a serious pizza craving."

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